Ever had a thought come up in your head that just seems plain crazy? Like, "where in the heck did that come from?' kinda crazy?
I know I have.
It happened just about the time my only living son was getting ready to get his driver's license. I was a nervous wreck. The thought of him behind a huge moving vehicle literally made me sick to my stomach. So sick that I actually had to start taking anti-anxiety medicine, just so I could ride in the car beside him.
The anxiety came up because for the previous 15 years I had done everything within my power to keep him as safe as I possibly could. After all, I had lost one son, I was not about to lose another.
So now you can see why putting him behind the wheel of a car made my mind conjure up every worst case scenario known to mankind. Those incessant thoughts of death, dismemberment, and destruction were making my life miserable and it was the very beginning of me coming to grips with the fact, that soon, my son would not be needing me like he always had before. He was gaining his independence, and what I soon came to learn, was that I was too.
I had retired from my TV career a year after my son Brandon died to spend more time raising our oldest son. My family became my focus and once he started school, I returned to broadcasting as the host of a talk radio show.
It was the perfect situation. I could resume my love of broadcasting part time while my son was in school, while at the same time be available to him when he needed me. My day consisted of fixing breakfast, taking him to school, working my show, running errands until I picked him up from school. And the rest of the day consisted of dinner, homework, and bedtime stories.
It was a perfect routine, for a perfect life, and it was a well oiled machine.
It also felt safe and secure and we were existing well. That is until something happened: my son was growing up and would soon be growing away.
And while he was growing up, something was growing inside of me: a desire to become more. A desire to start living life instead of just making life work.
I remember I once again started thinking about something that happened after our son Brandon died.
My husband and I lost some of our close friends. I don't know why I thought about it after all these years, but a curiosity came over me. I kept thinking why something like this would happen. I also thought that if perhaps they knew what to say or do to help us, if we would still be friends. Then I thought, if there was just some kind of book with these answers inside, maybe it could keep something like this from happening to others.
And so I started looking for that book. I looked in book stores, on Amazon, and even Googled it. And every time I looked, this voice would say to me: "You can look all you want, but you are not going to find it, because you are supposed to write it."
"I've never written anything more than college papers and news copy. How was I equipped to write a book?" I argued.
I ignored the voice.
But it came back.
I ignored it again. And again and again. And then one day I made a decision and I said yes.
That yes resulted in a best selling book.
That yes, lead me to a new career.
That yes is helping people help their friends and family members deal with some of the most difficult times in life.
That yes changed my life.
That yes may have even saved my life.
Listening to that inner voice that was calling me to become more, to step into the unknown, to do something different and to do something scary, was important.
But equally as important to listening to the voice, was saying YES.
Yes, required trust. Yes, required action. Yes, set me up for judgement and failure and maybe even success. Yes required me to start living without a safety net instead of merely existing like a well oiled machine.
Yes changed everything for me.
Maybe just maybe it could change everything for you too.
What is your inner voice calling you to do, to become, to experience?
And more importantly, how are you deciding to answer that call?
Sherrie Dunlevy is an author, speaker and Inspirationista. For more information, to order her best selling book “How Can I Help?" or to hire Sherrie to speak at your conference, workshop or special event go to www.SherrieDunlevy.com or contact her at SherrieDunlevy@gmail.com